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We all have them, but only some of us can identify them and break through or remove them.
I guess by now you know that our emotions arise in patterns, most of the times.
These patterns were installed to us by our family, friends, social networks, the media and so on.
It might be easy to recall memories of an emotional reaction, you had in the past, that with hindsight looks like you were taken over by “something.”
It felt like your reaction wasn’t you but “someone else,” like you were possessed by something.
Enter emotional patterns.
This feeling is what happens when we are overtaken by a negative emotional pattern, and it’s usually way too complicated to recognize it unless you have been consciously practicing mindfulness.
Similar to our emotional patterns, there are our emotional roadblocks.
Things or decisions that we absolutely deny of going through in our life, with usually no apparent explanation.
As it appears, these are usually emotional roadblocks, remnants of something that traumatized us in the past.
Bypassing Your Negative Emotional Patterns & Roadblocks
People who can identify their emotional patterns and roadblocks are considered (according to studies) to be more successful in life and having higher Emotional Intelligence.
Here are some negative examples of emotional patterns and roadblocks I’ve identified for myself and how I’m trying to manage them (who knows, we might have similar issues)
Pattern: Easily irritated when tired
Pattern: Frustrated with others when I have to unexpectedly follow their schedule or something happens and messes up my schedule.
Pattern: Irritated with indecisiveness
Pattern: I become angry with people who break their word (untrustable) or go behind my back and betray me.
Pattern: Totally frustrated with people’s stupidity and NON-common sense.
Pattern: Irritated by traffic jams and in general by doing things that waste my time.
Pattern: Frustrated with people who try to impose their beliefs on me without any solid proof, or play word games behind my back.
Solution: I try to avoid being around others when I’m tired to prevent an unwanted spark of argument and usually prefer to stay alone.
Solution: I try to schedule my coming day and week as best as possible from before. However, when this happens (as usual) my meditation practice has helped me a lot. I’m taking deep breaths and thinking that in 1-2 hours everything will be over and I will be back to normal.
Solution: When I can, I make the decision and go on with it. When it’s the crowd’s or some people indecisiveness, I avoid wasting my time being around them.
Solution: I usually filter out and carefully evaluate people before allowing them to enter my inner circle of trustable peers or start playing a role by showing a different perspective of my character to filter out people who cannot see behind that role.
Of course, I reject doing business without a ton of legal and regulatory documents signed from beforehand (trust me, I’ve been burned multiple times with this one).
Solution: Yeah, that’s a big one, and that’s why I’m trying to avoid being in places that many people attend (supermarkets, stadiums, concerts, etc.) as well as carefully selecting people I want to interact with, not the other way around.
Solution: Not driving a car in the city. I prefer driving a motorcycle or using public transportation. Of course, I’m also actively denying things that I consider as a waste of time or just getting away from these type of situations.
Solution: At first I will try to discuss and empathize due to the different point of view and experience background. If that doesn’t work, I will just quit trying and go on with my life. Finally, word games behind my back is a one-way road to just staying the hell away from me.
Phew…that was a long one.
So here you have it.
You just read some of my negative emotional patterns and roadblocks and how I’m managing them (if at all…)
Am I feeling more emotionally intelligent, with higher EQ (or whatever that means…)?
Mehhhh, maybe…maybe not.
Now is your time to sit down and search deep inside yourself. Start noticing and keep some reminders about your negative emotional patterns and roadblocks.
Become aware of them and you are already half-way there…
Feel free to comment with your tactics or thoughts on this.